Some months ago I still lived in a country called “Yes-but”. A country with many citizens and a landscape with high mountains of concerns, valleys of hesitation and big rivers called “doubts”. The atmosphere very often is foggy and everybody is taking care or is avoiding a step forward because the people fear to crash into fellows. It is important to everybody to keep a low profile. Before they start any initiative or taking a decision they consider other people’s opinion or perception. Conformity and understatement have a high value.
By chance I discovered on social media a “travel-guide” which wants to encourage people to get to know an exotic country which is called “Why-not”. The title of these travel-guide is “Power of Leather”. It is saying that Why-not offers a lot of opportunities and exciting adventures. Already when you are on the way towards this country you could grow by enhancing your self-confidence, self-determination and enjoying your passions (in this case the passion of leather clothing). Or in other words: it’s the journey not the destination. In contradiction to Yes-but Why-not is promising Individuality and nonconformity. For the time being the country has unfortunately less citizens than Yes-but.
Before I started my journey I bought necessary equipment – a fashionable leather biker jacket and leather pants. However because I was educated in the country of Yes-but I had strong doubts whether I really could wear this leather clothes in the public area. Typical concern: how would I perceived by others? My preparations started with reading “Power Of Leather” carefully and with enthusiasm. Then mailing my review of the book to the author, the elegant Leatherqueen D.e.n.i_C and confessing first time in written form “Leather is my passion”. Only a few days later I had my first Open Talk with D.e.n.i_C and now I also admitted for the first time verbally “Leather clothes are attracting me”.
The next station on my journey was to go shopping and wearing my leather pants. I expected askance views and strange comments. But I didn’t stand out at all. Similar happened when I saw my doctor to check my injured legs. She didn’t show any specific reaction when she saw me in my blue tight leather pants. She simply ignored the fact. My concerns seemed to be without any reason.
On the next stop of my journey I left my comfort zone again. I decided to do a photo shooting. When I asked the photographer whether it would be appropriate to wear a blue leather biker jacket and blue leather pants she answered without hesitating: “ Yes of course, you should, it’s really cool.” This was really encouraging soul food. And the session was definitely cool. My photographer succeeded in showing me “in my best light”.
But some concerns still remained. Which reaction could I expect from my wife and from my friends? When I showed them the photos I was positively surprised. They praised the photos highly. And again “cool” was the unanimous statement. My wife even recommended me to wear the pants in the office. “Wow”, I didn’t expect so many appreciation. But so far I do not feel prepared to show up in leather pants in the office (concerns, doubts, fears can be sustainably reduced only step by step). The target country Why-not is within eyeshot but I still have a certain distance to go.
And what are my experiences and conclusions since I started my path to Why-Not?
It is not only about leather but it is rather my attitude which has positively changed.
However leather is an important and very effective enabler to become self-confident and even powerful. I want to continue my way towards Why-not with courage, confidence and respect and I am sure that I do not want to return to Yes-but. Leaving the comfort zone, breaking through the wall of fear, gaining new experiences – the secret of personality growth.
